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All Cliches in a Nutshell
A spoof of shitty, third-rate cliche pastas. Included are: TheMysteriousHood NightmaricGod Henriot5 FoxofJudyFoster MinecraftPastaWriter Robloxian1662 Shrautsticks SweetPsychoGamerGirl For those of you who would like to be in a sequel, contact me on my message wall or in the comments below. This work will possibly be posted on the Shitposting/Random Crap Forum Here we go... Intro Location: A mud slick known colloquially as Croatia Be More Specific, Please: A dirt hut in the mud slick colloquially known as Croatia Temperature: 50 degrees F I TheMysteriousHood: Ah, yet another cliche creepypasta. Hodd: Let us inspect this one. * Clicks on the creepypasta, entitled "GoldenEntity" Hhod: Just as I thought: a great wall of text, without any plot, entirely devoid of any originality. Hohd: I will deal with that. * Deletes GoldenEntity Ohod: There, that should be alright. * The author of GoldenEntity creates two pages, "I sAw HeRobrIAn" and "NuLls RevNge" Hood: Fuck Hdoh: This means war. On all cliches Cool, It's the First Chapter (Except It's More Like a Second Introduction or Some Crap idk) Two Weeks Later Location: That same dirt hut in Croatia Temperature: 54 degrees F I Hood: Welcome, lads. Henriot5: Er, hi. Why did we come here? FoxofJudyFoster: To - to - fuck, idk. dHOd: You have all been summoned here, by me, so that we may address undoubtedly the greatest threat to the existence of the MCCW ever. I'm talking about cliches. Fox: Damn, that's rough. Shrautsticks: I agree that cliche pastas need to be destroyed. (No you don't, dumbass, you wrote half of them yourself.) SweetPsychoGamerGirl: Ouch. Hdoh: So we must do something about this calamity. Robloxian1662: And what's that Hood? Hodh: Idk. That's for you guys to find out. Shraut: Then what the heck are we here for? (Hell. What the hell '' are we here for.) dHoh: To do something. Fox: And what's that? oHdo: Watch videos of people being mutilated on 4chan while trying to figure out what to do. Robloxian: Nah let's watch Happy Tree Friends instead. SweetPsycho: This whole chapter is a waste of time. Fox: That's because it's supposed to be an introduction to why we do nothing in the next chapter. Shraut: I don't know about this pasta... (You hate it, you prick.) Fox: It's okay. I'm just setting the stage.... Chptar the First Hood: So here's our little mischief maker. Hood: I'm going to get on live chat and ask him to stop. Fox: Knock yourself out. * Hood gets on computer and starts live chat. * ImAN00b joined the chat! Greetings, ImAN00b! Hhod: Now, how should I approach this, lads? SweetPsycho: Be nice and ask him to remove the pastas. Hdho: Like this? * Types a short message SweetPsycho (reading the comment): "Get your stupid donkey shit off the wiki or I'll blast your face you donkey-fuck." Err... no? Shraut: Too menacing. (Hell yes, let's do more of that.) Fox: I like that. Henriot: Too repetitive. It uses "donkey" too many times. * Shraut snatches the keyboard and sends message. ImAN00b> IM REPORTING YOU TO AdMinS!!! Shraut: Little does the turd know Hood is a bcrat. ImAN00b> Just becaUse Ur a BurecraeT doEsnt meeN u Can dOo this. Shraut: Fuck, he does know it. Robloxian: Uh oh. * Hood is reported to admins. Henriot: I just got a message that you're abusing your privileges. Shraut: He didn't do anything. (....) Henriot: kden. SweetPsycho: Why don't we try to be nice...? Hhdo> Hey guy do you like Herobrine? ImAN00b> OmIgosh oMiGosh omigsh hEs my fAvoRte!!!!!!! Hohd: Watch this, lads... * Hood types "Then check this out. http://www.thisisnotashadymalwarewebsite.malware" Robloxian: Now that's just immoral Fox: It'll never work. * Hood sends the message (On Chat) ImAN00b> Why dO's Dis look totALly not sUsiPicuous? Hhdo> Because it isn't ImAN00b> I Am noT gOiNG to CLicK on MalWAre! Henriot: See, it won't work. Dhho> But there's a totally awesome Herobrine video on this website. ImAN00b> Omg oMG iLl cliCk That Shraut: Fuck. (Off.) SweetPsycho: I feel like a criminal. Fox: Technically we are. Hhod: Don't worry we won't hear from this sucker again. * Hood gives the computer to Robloxian who then begins to surf the web. * Suddenly messages begin to pop up. ImAN00b> YouVE ruINeD mY LifE. ImAN00b> SaVE me HEroBRIAn!!!!!!srguihfsyuigs dhHo: There. I think we dealt with him. Shraut: That was sad. (You enjoyed that, you fag.) Fox: *sigh* SweetPsycho: Where's NightmaricGod? Weren't you supposed to put him in this? Fox: Shit I forgot about that. Henriot: Not now, let's save that for the next chapter Creepy Ass Shit Happens (Not k1dding) * Gang is in living room; Hood and Henriot are playing Minecraft on the Xbox One; MinecraftPastaWriter is crossplaying on his PC, while Fox and the rest watch Shraut: You guys are fucking disgusting. Nobody has Xbox One anymore. PS4 is where it's at. Hood: Let's make a new world. Henriot: OK * They go into menu for making new world. Henriot calls it "666" and sets the seed to "666" Henriot: Riddy? oHhd: That is so fucking bad, but sure. * Henriot creates the world. They spawn on a 4x4 platform of obsidian in the Nether. MPW does the same when he joins. MPW: Great... hoHd: This is so fucking cliche, it's disgusting. MPW: ikr. Fuck this. * While they are chatting, a message pops up. <303Brin3 has joined the game!> MPW: Fock Hdoh: This is getting worse and worse... <303Brin3> You b3tray3d m3! Fox: Before we progress any further, let's check the local newspaper we don't have a subscription to and see if any local bois have killed themselves recently. '''LOCAL BOI HANGS HIMSELF IN BEDROOM' Shraut: Wow. (You saw that coming, dick.) Fox: Well now we know what we are dealing with here. MPW: Do u guys c an entity flying around up there? * 303Brin3 is flying around in an erratic fashion. dhHo: Maybe he has the disease of the mad cows. Henriot: No he's typing to us again. <303Brin3> I'm your worst nightmar3. You will all di3! MPW: Can I talk to him? dooH: Since we, surprise, can't exit the game, sure. Hey little guy... <303Brin3> Shut up! You kill3d m3! We're sorry about that. Can't we make up? <303Brin3> FUCK NO Henriot: That didn't go so well. dHho: No it didn't. <303Brin3> I'm coming for you, MPW... * *Silence* <303Brin3> I'v3 got you, MPW!!!! MPW: FUCK-- * Henriot and Hood hear MPW make strange gurgling noises, and then the headset goes blank. Hood: RIP him. Henriot: Rest in peace, boi. Shraut: Now what? SweetPsycho: Can we go hide before 303Brin3 gets us? Hhod: Just lock the door. Fox: That won't stop him... * Somebody begins banging on door. Hood: Don't worry, lads. I'll deal with that. * Picks up AK-47 and walks toward door. Hodo: Who's there? ???: It's me! Let me in!! SweetPsycho: Wait, it can't be 303Brin3. He's not talking in 3's- * Hood unloads a magazine through the locked door. He opens it and NightmaricGod falls inside. NightmaricGod: You killed me, you bastard... Hood: Piss off. You should've been clearer. How am I supposed to know it was you? I had to protect the lads here. * NightmaricGod dies of blood loss. Shraut: Poor guy. (What a dickwad.) Fox: I think we better call the police now. Chptra teh ThiD * Hood is playing on his computer when suddenly Minecraft glitches. 303Brin3: You can't 3scap3 m3! Fox: You know what would make this more cliche? If suddenly scary ass pictures popped up on your screen. <303Brin3> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\/ Shraut: 100 cliche points if somebody's actually scared of them. Henriot: HOLY FUCK!!!! AHHH!!!! Shraut: You know what's even scarier than the picture? That you can't send fucking pictures in Minecraft chat. Hood (on phone): Hello, Police? * Goes straight to voicemail. SweetPsycho: I didn't know the police had voicemail... Fox: Okay it's time for the shitty next chapter. NightmaricGod: Hopefully I'm in this one... Music and Some Other Crap That Isn't Cliche Fox: Mind if I play some music while we wait for the police? Hdoo: Knock yourself out. * Plays this Henriot: What the fuck is this!? Fox: Quality music. What else? Shraut: I like that beat. (You fucking hate this song you lying ass.) doHo: Not the kind of music I want to hear at a time like this. Fox: Piss off. * Plays this SweetPsycho: What is THIS? Fox: I can tell you've never been introduced to the wonderful world of d - jent. Hood: No good. Try again. SweetPyscho: Songs without words are boring. Play something else with words. Fox: Words get in the way of the music. But whatever. * Plays this Henriot: Do you listen to anything but metal? Fox: Of course. I listen to speed metal, death metal, progressive metal, metalcore, and, believe it or not, heavy metal. Shraut: You're fucked up. Fox: Why thank you. NightmaricGod: So what do we do now? Fox: We don't learn our lesson from playing Minecraft and getting haunted by 303Brin3 and we go play it again. Teh Thid EnCounter * Robloxian starts up Minecraft on Hood's PC. Robloxian: Hey this game is acting fucking weird. * Shraut comes over and looks at the screen. Shraut: Yeah all the letters are in blood red. NightmaricGod: And none of the buttons but PLAY work. Fox: Oh fuck. SweetPsycho: Maybe we could try shutting the computer. * Shraut unplugs and plugs in the computer several times. Each time he does so, the game gets weirder. Shraut: It's not gonna work. (No shit, Shraut.) Robloxian: So, what do we do? Hood: Just press play. * Robloxian presses it. The only available world to play is called IM WAITING FOR U. He presses it, appearing in a dungeon made with glass walls, with lava behind it. <303Brin3> Now I hav3 UUUU!!! * A clawed hand shoots out of the screen. At the same moment the lights go out. Robloxian screams. The only light in the room is the light from the screen. * Hood grabs a flashlight. Hood: Alas, lads, Robloxian has been killed by the entity. * Robloxian's face was torn off by the clawed hand. Shraut: If it was only 3 am. But it's 4 o'clock. Fox: You forgot about daylight savings, Shraut. Shraut: So I did. Well, then, it's fucking 3 am. Fox: RIP him. Shraut: Rest in peace. (You hope he burns in hell, turd.) Fox: Shit, he got his blood all over that MineCon t-shirt. I wanted that. doHo: Let's get the fuck out of here. The entity is loose somewhere nearby. NightmaricGod: I'm scared. Henriot: No time for that now, we have to stay alert. * The computer, which is still on, begins showing messages. <303Brin3> Got on3 of you! <303Brin3> I will kill all of you... <303Brin3> You can n3v3r 3scap3 m3!!! * Suddenly, all the known entities, from Entity 101, 202, etc, all the way to Entitybrine, Stevebrine and Mahogany Steve, pop into the game. Shraut: This is worse than any cliche I've ever read. (Or written.) We will find youuuuuuuu... You can't hide from us, bastards... DIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIE dHoo: Let's destroy that computer at once. * Shraut takes a M16 and blasts the computer to smithereens. The whole group rushes out into the streets and takes refuge in another hut at the other end of the village. NightmaricGod: I hope we never go there again. Henriot: Oh don't worry. We'll be back again in the next shitty episode. * Fox pulls out a Bowie knife. Fox: The next son of a bitch who tries to write a shitty fucking cliche will get stabbed. Henriot: Er... you are writing this right now, Fox.... Fox: Ah, fuck. * Stabs himself and collapses. Outro And that is the end of this episode. Nobody in the village ever went near that hut again. And of course, they never, ever played Minecraft again... But wait, will there be more? Our very latest, greatest, very bestest president ever, George H.W. Bush, once said "Read my lips; no new taxes." America then proceeded to get more taxes. So I will simply say "Read my lips; no new episodes", and leave it to you to draw a conclusion from that. If you came to the conclusion that Republicans and Democrats are just as bad at keeping promises, you are correct. If you came to the conclusion that new stories will be made, then you are also correct. So stay tuned... Now remember this for next time... DEAD ''' '''NightmaricGod - Spray of bullets Robloxian1662 - Defaced by 303Brin3 MPW - Throat ripped by 303Brin3 FoxofJudyFoster - Stabbed himself INJURED ''' Well, technically everyone who is dead was injured in the process, so see above '''Shrautsticks - Stubbed his toe. A-OKAY TheMysteriousHood SweetPsychoGamerGirl Category:Pastas featuring multiple users Category:Cliche Category:Entities Category:FoxofJudyFoster Category:Blood Category:Heavy Swearing Category:Super duper fucking cliche Category:Short Trollpastas Category:Short Pastas Category:Xbox Minecraft Category:PC Minecraft Category:All Cliches in a Nutshell